i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
