im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
