I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
How external is "for external use only"?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
