And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
