We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
