dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
