I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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