i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
