I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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