I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
