im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
