East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
