the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
