i love accidental penises.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
