We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
