would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
