Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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