I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
