dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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