1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
