I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so let's talk penis.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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