kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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