So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
