so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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