he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
