At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
