Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
