my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We left the knife in your bed.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
