you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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