Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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