i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
