Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
