I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Semen is not good for contacts.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
