I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
