I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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