i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
