Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
