I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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