Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize