i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The dick lei will go down in squad history
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
