margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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