I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
