my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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