I hate your face
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
