he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
