What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
