Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
