Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
