dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Randomize
