i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
