We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize