I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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