There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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