I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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