how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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