I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
